But I have been diagnosed with 'the grass is greener' syndrome. This is a self proclaimed prognosis but I'm 110% sure it's made me sick.
It's really awesome. And by awesome, I mean discouraging and degrading, silly and numbing.
The worst part is when it steals my joy. When I've suddenly become ungrateful for this beautiful life I lead. When I begin to dislike myself and don't even know why.
I'm sure none of you know what I'm talking about so I'll enlighten you. :)
We admire others relationships, materials, physical attributes and raw talents to the point of jealousy. Jealousy quickly transforms into lust or idolatry. It's sneaky that way. Soon you've caught GIGS before you can say, "if only I had her legs."
It hurts my pride to tell you that this jealousy runs through my blood consistently. (Insert cringe and the insanely strong urge to push delete.)
Why?! How do we handle it?! How does GIGS affect our marriage?!
I feel like a broken record but I'll say it again. We are broken people. We
I can't sew. Why do I insist on pinning sewing projects on pinterest? I'm not a hair girl. I'm just not. I run, but I'm not fast. I love photos but will never be a professional photographer. I'm a singer but have stage fright. I love to decorate but can't think of a single unique idea without help.
I love to cook but must have a recipe. I can't draw. I am organized.
I'm positive. I'm fickle when I have to make big decisions. I'm loyal. I'm super sensitive and most of the time I HATE it. I would love a more bold personality. I am missing two teeth. It's true, just wasn't born with 'em. I'm not proud of everything I've ever done. I like my upper body more than my lower body. I yearn to change the world and be a mom. I plan to the point of forgetting to enjoy the present.
This is me. This is exactly who I was designed to be. Your husband is designed differently but just as beautiful. As well as your friends, co-workers, random girl at Starbucks...
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart ..." Jeremiah 1:5
You are on purpose. All of the quinks, korks, not-ideal attributes are what made your husband fall in love with you in first place.Your friends find them amusing and your parents think they're cute.
If after reading this you've realized you too might have GIGS, I'm sorry. :)
Let us appreciate others gifts around us instead of seeing them as threatening.
Be in a community with others that don't share the same gifts, it makes life more fun.
Isn't that what marriage entails?! Being in constant union with someone that offers complimentary gifts to yours? Appreciate. Encourage. Embrace. Laugh. Shrug. Love.
On a daily basis remind yourself that ..."[I] am fearfully and wonderfully made"...Psalm 139:14
The most peaceful people I have met are comfortable with the talent they have been given and give praise to the One who made them.
Love, Nicole
P.S. I encourage you to make your own jumbled list of what you love and don't love about yourself. Write them down. Smile about them and let them go. Share them here or rip it up. :)
He loves those things about you!
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